It’s Not About Me
October 24, 2014 -- by Jessica Briant
Jessica Briant joined the Micah Project as a new missionary in September. Here she reflects on what she has been learning in her first month with us…
The other day I found myself in a mood I like to call a “funk”. I usually use this term to describe when I feel bothered and irritated, but I don’t really know where my feelings are coming from. I felt overwhelmed and irritated by so many things.
- gross smells (apparently from the meat factory near by)
- animal sounds
- bugs (like the fat spider that calls my porch home)
- a lot less closet space
- Spanish, Spanish, Spanish
- hormonal teenage boys
- messy and dirty teenage boys
- crazy driving
- living near the dump
- seeing poverty everyday
That night as I was driving into the city, I turned off my radio and just started telling God all the things that were irritating me. Just telling Him made me feel better, and it made me realize how minimal my irritations were. My “funk” was really about me not being in control and God bending me. That night at small group and in the days since, God keeps telling me, “IT is not about you.” I felt like I had a light bulb go off in my head. Of course this is not about me; this is about Him!!! I wouldn’t be a 33 year old single woman living and volunteering in Honduras if it was about me. These are not things that I desire but that He desires for me. I am not good enough or equipped to do God’s work, but He equips me and uses me. All I did was surrender my life to Him and say, “Use me; I will go!”
So here I am back in Honduras for a 4th year, but this time as a missionary at the Micah Project. I didn’t return to the same Honduras that I have known for 3 years. I am learning to bend and embrace new things that aren’t always easy or pleasant. It is not easy to waltz right in to a family and become one of them, but I have felt so loved and appreciated this past month; not only by the boys, but by my heavenly Father. I have felt my heart and love expanding in new ways.
I have experienced…..
- so many hugs.
- bonding with the boys.
- watching the bond between the boys.
- learning each boy’s story and how God has worked in their lives.
- an amazing language helper, friend, and woman of God.
- helping the boys with schoolwork and chores.
- an exercise buddy.
- watching the boys host the senior citizens from the Linda Miller Community.
- watching ping-pong matches.
- a staff trip where I was able to bond with the Honduran staff.
- the Villa Linda Miller, my new community.
- lots and lots of laughs.
- Axel – a street kid that I have met throughout the years from volunteering at Micah – searching and reaching out for hope.
The best experience of all is what God is teaching me: it is NOT about me; it is about HIM!
“Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.”
1 Peter 4: 10-11